Introduction

Many psychologist say that survivors of abuse and neglect never really grow up. That they stay emotionally at the age they were when they suffered the abuse or neglect. It is as though their bodies age, and their expectations progress, but somewhere inside there is sill the little child that has been locked in forever by a demon.
This blog is to my little self. I refer to her as "Little Crystal". In my mind's eye, she is about 5 years old. Although in some of the stories I tell she is older or younger. I just still see her as about 5 years old. Today she is still a big part of me. She is the one who wants to see Christmas presents under the tree with her name on them, even though I am a grown woman. She is the one who loves whip cream piled so high on hot cocoa that it leaves a white creamy mustache on her face. She is precious and fun and I am no one without her.
It is for this reason, I have so much to tell her. Some of you who know me right now, would not believe what a bright, exciting, uninhibited and curious girl Little Crystal is.
Others of you, have met her. You were there when she got off the plane at 3 years old. When she met Aunt Nancy & Uncle Jim, and when she lost Alan and gained Linda.
These letters are for her. Although they are here for you to read, They really are for her. As I go through things in my life now, I find that I have so much she needs to know. Please feel free to read and to comment. Also, please note that the letters will not be in Chronological order. They will only be in the order in which I write them. As circumstances happen throughout the day, everyday and I think of her, feel her, I may feel the urge to share with her. But, I guess they are not just for her. These letters are also for all the Little Crystal's in the world who thought they were victims or think they still are.

This above all, to refuse to be a victim. Unless I can do that I am nothing.

-Atwood, Margaret Eleanor