Aunt Nancy

Tonight I am sad. You see, Aunt Nancy is dying. I know that she is your mommy, but she started out as Aunt Nancy. Do you remember meeting her? You were so very little, but you were so very smart. People told you that you were going to California to meet your aunt and uncle for a visit, but you knew better. You knew you were going to live there. I don't know how are why you knew that, you just did.
In California, they have a room for you. It is different then where you live now. You live in a ghetto in Detroit. It is 3 bedrooms and all 10 of you live there. It is dirty and not a good place for kids. Your new house is clean, pretty and quiet. Aunt Nancy is pretty too. She looks like a movie star. When you see her you think she looks like Bewitched.
Your real mommy is gone. You don't know where she is. No one will really tell you. They don't want to talk about it. They don't want you to think about it. You have a new mommy - just like that. Isn't that good enough? When you ask questions you are hushed. The tone and looks tells you that it is naughty to ask.
It does not seem right. So, when you close your eyes at night, you imagine all the wonderful places mommy has gone. One day she will come back to you and she will be rich and famous and she will not hush you when you ask questions. For now, you will stay quiet and learn to love your new mommy, Aunt Nancy.
It will take quite some time before you will be able to let Aunt Nancy be your mommy in the true sense of the word. For now, it seems like she is a pretty nice lady. Until you are sure however, you keep an eye on Alan and see how he does with her. He is your big brother and protector. If he trusts her, then you can too.
I see you're worried. "But, what if new mommy doesn't like me and she leaves too? What if I am not pretty enough, smart enough, or good enough?"
Oh honey, don't cry.
I am a mommy myself now. So, the mommy in me wants to wrap my arms around you and tell you that you are the smartest, prettiest, and sweetest little angle there ever could be. THIS mommy won't leave you.
As I sit here nearly 2000 miles away from Aunt Nancy, crying about that fact that she is leaving us forever, it is strange but it is HER I want to call on the phone to comfort me. I called her a lot when I was hurt.
To you, "Mom" is an image in your mind. It is a definition of what you think a mom is. She cooks, cleans, kisses boo-boos. I think you get most of your "mom" imagery from T.V. I don't know if your real mommy was like that. I remember your sisters doing those motherly type things more than your real mommy. In your mind however, a mommy is just about the most perfect person ever!
Nancy, who grew to be my mommy, was like that. I mean she wasn't perfect. She cooked, cleaned and kissed the boo-boos. I think losing her hurts so much because like Roxanne who lost her love twice, we too have loved but one mom in our life, yet we have lost her twice.
I love you Little Crystal. And just so you know, Aunt Nancy is a good mommy. She loves you. She thinks you are smart, funny and brave. There are things she sees in you she wishes she could be more like. She may be tough on you sometimes, but just remember, she expects a lot from you, because you have a lot to give.
Good night.
I love you!