Dear Little Crystal,
You are so tiny and people always comment on that about you. Your best friend calls you a bag o bones. When you play softball your coach says "You are just too little. I'm going to have to throw you back." Of course he is referring to fishing and how if you catch a small fish you throw it back so it can grow up. Your dad always has you get things that fall under the couch or in tight spots "because you can fit". One day you meet Lou Ferrigno and they talk about how is bicep is 21 inches around. It is bigger than your waist. Scarlett O'hara would be jealous!
You are watching Jack LaLanne on TV. He is doing his world famous jumping jacks. You want to be fit and healthy like him. He looks strong and lean. You are tiny and weak. But my sweet little Crystal, the world is a confusing place. People will try to teach you that skinny IS healthy and so begins your unhealthy relationship with food. This battle you have with food will lead you down a path where you will go days without food. Smoking and coffee will be your nutrients. And then one day you will give that up and decide to eat. But, you have no idea what to eat or how to control yourself. So the battle will go an entirely different direction and you will become obese.
I am so sorry that you did not learn about health and nutrition while you were young and seeking it. I wish Jack LaLanne could've come out of the TV and taken you by the had. There will come a day you will have some teachers (Mr Hyluwka and Mr Chaldu) who will try to teach you about healthy choices but by then you are too far gone into self destruction to hear what they have to say.
So here I am today little Crystal. I am 43 (almost 44) and I am doing something desperate to undo all the damage we have done. I am on a local TV show called The Biggest Loser. I work out 5 days a week at 5 am and I am on a very strict diet. But I am so happy I have people willing to help me get my life to where it should have always been. You would be proud of me. I may do a few jumping jacks today just for you.
As always, I love you.
