Last night I watched The Emmy Awards. At the end they did a segment dedicated to all the TV stars who had died throughout the year. For being so little you have lost a lot of loved ones in your life.
I see you grieving. It is the first time you face death. Aunt Nancy is sitting at a piano, she is crying after a phone call. You all try to console her when she says that Bud has died. Bud was her best friend. He was as close to a brother as she ever could have had. You've never met Bud, but you have seen pictures and heard stories about Aunt Nancy and Bud.
You are just a little girl maybe 5 or 6. Suddenly, the horrible truth sinks inside your body. It's alarming how death is palpable. You realize that you will never meet Bud! Dead means forever! That is a huge realization for a child. It's true, no one can save him. This realization overwhelms you and you begin to cry.
Your siblings mock you. "What are you crying for? You baby! You didn't even know him!"
But you didn't need to know him, you are grieving something far more deep, more pure, and more Godly. You are grieving the loss of life in and of itself. Somewhere along the way man has lost the true value of human life. But, it has not been lost on you. Death should be mourned and so you cry.
After that, death became more intimate, more personal.
The awards show made me think of our loved ones who have passed. Their loss of life has not made death any easier. On the contrary, death in general has become harder for me to face.
There are people who died who you were not that close to such as cousins, aunts etc. But the following are those you lost that took a piece of your heart. It is important to remember them.
Doris Anderson - Aunt Nancy's mom. She was grandma to you. She became sick while visiting you and later died.
Linda Williams - Your older sister. You shared a room. She was all you had left of your original family. She was hit by a drunk driver. Her friend was also killed who you knew at the time, but his name escapes me now.
Alan King - he was at Linda's funeral and attended church with us. You loved him like a brother. A few short weeks after Linda died, Alan's car went off the rode when his friend fell asleep at the wheel.
Don Anderson - Aunt Nancy's father and your grandpa. He loved you so much! He never treated you different. After grandma died, he is diagnosed with emphysema. He comes to live with you. You bring him his meals on trays to his room everyday. Whenever you go to pick up the tray when his meal is done, there is always some money on the tray for you to keep.
One morning you wake up extra early. Something is wrong. You go to his room and there you see his stiff corpse. He has died in his sleep. This will haunt you for years.
Brett Hamlin - He was your first husband. Well, not legally but when you were about 4 years old, you and he dressed up and marched down the hallway as man and wife. He was one of your best friends. He had a twin brother Bart that was also your friend. On your 19th birthday, your father will call to tell you he has died. His car crashed into a wall. I still do not know all the details. He is buried in Cypress near Linda.
Dan Caraway - Dan was your youth group leader. You met him at ashram (a Christian camp) in the summer. He would be in a motorcycle accident on that same Christmas Eve. On New Year's Eve he passes away. The grief of this loss is overwhelming and you begin to change. (You will find your way back but it takes awhile).
Glenn Williams - This is your real father. The loss here was more of what could've been than what was. He was never your Dad. Jim played that roll. But that is what made this so sad. He died of cirrhosis of the liver from his years of alcoholism.
Gordon Yaeger - Your Father-in-Law. He is a good man who becomes very close to Mario. One day he is fine, the next day he dies of lung cancer. Yes, he was a smoker.
Jim Williams - Uncle Jim and the man you know and love as daddy. He lives a long life and dies in your sister's arms.
Jorge Monjares - You date him for a little while but eventually just become friends. At 56 he dies of a sudden unexpected heart attack. Kara calls you to tell you.
Cousin Lucille - She is Aunt Nancy's cousin but she is a hero to you. She dies alone. No funeral. You hold a service in your home all by yourself to honor her.
Nancy Williams - Aunt Nancy and the only mom you ever really know and love. You, she and your family plan a trip to Jamaica. However, during a check-up they find brain cancer. Instead of Jamaica, you fly to California to bury your mother.
April Stiles - You don't know when or how she dies but you find out via the the Internet. She was a childhood friend and fellow softball player.
William Hogg - Uncle Bill. He is the man who takes you out of the orphanage until Aunt Nancy and Uncle Jim decide that you should live with them. He just died last week.
There are more but these stand out. Thank you God for allowing me to know each of these people even for a moment.
My dear little Crystal, life is short! Be kind, keep your heart open and cherish every second with those you love.
With love as always!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Location:Derby Dr,Murrieta,United States
No comments:
Post a Comment