Dear Sweet Little Crystal,
I have been thinking about you a lot lately, little girl. Maybe because I am getting ready to move back to California. Maybe it is because it is nearly 1 year since mom has passed away. I am not sure why you cross my mind so much at certain times, but you do.
Right now, I am trying to get a job out in California from my desk in Kansas. It is not usually hard for me to find work. I mean I am kind of like Jerry Maguire. I am good at interviews like he was good in a living room. But, I can't seem to get to the interview. Waiting for the phone to ring is killing me. I hate even hearing the phone ring because I want it to be about a job, but it never is. I am afraid when friends and loved ones call, I probably sound disappointed. Perhaps I even sound agitated.
Funny how things change. You are a very patient little girl. You do not like to impose on people. You don't like people to be upset it makes you feel sad. You don't want them to leave or ship you off.
So there you are at Disneyland. It has been a long and exciting day. But your ear hurts. It hurts real bad. You don't want to tell anyone because the parade is coming and you are all lining up for the famous Disney Electrical Parade. Aunt Nancy and Uncle Jim seem very excited. Linda, Craig and Christine too are so filled with anticipation. You wish you could be too. But your ear hurts very bad. Maybe you can keep it warm. If it were warm, the pain could go away. So you lay down on the curb and put your little head down on someone's feet like a pillow. I can't see who it is. Maybe it is Aunt Nancy. Her shoes would be clean enough to lay down on. Everyone snickers at you. They think you are tired. You are a little girl and it has been a very big day. So, they think you are laying down and about to fall asleep. But, the pain is too great. You just want this parade to come and go. It seems like forever, but you do not complain, you do not tell a sole, and you try to enjoy the floats and princesses that pass you by. You are such a good girl. Finally the parade ends. "Can we go now?" you ask Aunt Nancy. "You want to go?" she asks with a surprised lilt in her voice. She thought that no child every wanted to leave the happiest place on earth. "Yes please. I have an ear ache." Suddenly, it dawns on her why you have been laying at their feet and being so quiet and still. She swoops you up in her arms and as only a mother would do in one graceful movement, kisses your head to check for fever.
I don't have your patience any more, little one. I whine and cry and tell anyone who will listen about every tiny troublesome issue. If that were the me I am now, I would have already posted it 15 times on Facebook before the parade started.
Oh maybe I am not that whimpy, but I sure wish mom were her to kiss my forehead. I know I don't have a fever, but somehow that always made me feel better. Maybe if I lay my head down, it will all be over soon and I can be home, in California!
As always squirt, I love you!
